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Writer's pictureZara Sauleh

Twice, Double, Duality or Yin & Yang?


I am currently dealing with a lot of headache and high fever which I got due to crying, I’ve been up since 7 am & I couldn’t stop my tears, I have been having these breakdowns since 2015 (due to a recurrent issue) He is not ready to give me any closure or listen to my story which is very, very important, I have shared a few details below:

I was thinking of committing suicide again yesterday and I still feel like doing it, I saw a certain number (not 2) repeatedly and when I googled it, it said something about self harm & it was emphasising on that a lot, then I again came across this: “Don’t give up” - in the search results (images)

I have been seeing that quote since last year… I had shared something similar previously also

I A M T A L K I N G A B O U T

A N O T H E R R E V I E W &

C O I N C I D E N C E I N T H E F O L L O W I N G E X T R A C T :

The selfie in that review reminded me of him… (precisely due to the angle & expression) in fact I was just thinking about him when I came across that review, I was asking myself, “Why? Why would he do this to me?” And something caught my eye… I’ve been seeing the no. ‘2’ right from the beginning, whenever I ask “why?” all I get is ‘2’ or twice on every app be it a random quote app or fortune telling apps/sites even over here, the name is written twice and the number two is all around, another interesting fact - we met on 2nd Oct & 2nd April (for the second time) and he was my second suggestion on a dating app and I also heard his dad’s name twice (2 times) each doctor followed the same suit and they were two different doctors btw and I saw 2 different father and son duo also twice…while going & returning from the doctor’s clinic, they were walking down the street in the exact same manner (both the kids were sitting on their father’s shoulders) I have shared more coincidences here ref. lilacnights.com/post/stupid-cupid I was ALSO carrying that Cupid necklace TWICE - 2 times and both the times I saw him. Speaking of the review, where the name is written twice next to that selfie which reminded me of him, it could either suggest that there were “two of him” as in he probably has a split personality (which could explain his ambivalent behaviour) or that two people were using his ID… or it could also denote whatever I’ve written in my next book, I have unfolded a lot of secrets there, I think I know why I saw that father & son duo twice and heard his dad’s name also twice and why I saw that other tv uncle (again) twice right before meeting HIM & why I was carrying that locket also twice. The number ‘2’ also stands for love & partnership, as mentioned in www.lilacnights.com/post/more-coincidences & www.lilacnights.com/post/soulmates-decoded wherever there’s 501 there is 201 (I’ve been calling him that due to his birthdate since long and ‘2’ is my numerological total, we’ll it’s actually 11 for both my birthdate as well as the total numerological value but it doesn’t have to be like that for everyone… some people have the same birth value as well as numerological value, for me, both ways it’s 11 which sums up to 2 & for him it’s ‘5’ again both ways) and according whatever I’ve shared in my latest More Coincidence post on the blog, wherever there is Harsh there’s Zara, wherever there’s Zara there’s Harsh it almost feels like we are before a mirror… we reflect each other and you know only soulmates do that. Long before the mirror was invented something else would cast our reflection, we were all born with one… in fact, it wasn’t the mirror which introduced us to the whole “concept of reflections” and no, Water wasn’t the very first source either, it also reflects us but it’s never precise, without any proper reflective surface (not object) there was always only one thing which would cast our reflection— light… in the form of shadows. He is like my shadow, my darker side (I’ve shared one more coincidence related to that also in “More Coincidences” post www.lilacnights.com/post/more-coincidences) There is a reason why I never drank alcohol - due to high risk of dependency, like I said I always wanted to be autonomous, I mean you can’t tell me what to do or have any kind of influence over my life, I didn’t want to be a ‘capitulated hostage’ of anything, be it any mind altering substance or anything intoxicating or a person/obsession… but maybe if I would’ve had alcohol, I too would’ve probably ended up exactly like him… I have similar tendencies. Additional Coincidences:

Like I said I have been calling him ‘501’ since 2018, I gave him that alias to conceal his identity, it is based on his birthdate… I have been coming across that number since then and it’s nothing new I have had several coincidences related to Him as well (and everything related to him) he has always been ubiquitous (not cinematically) for real.

I was toggling between two sites and I saw this back to back, first his alias ‘501’ then his real name… your very first instinct is to see the number of likes & that is where I spotted it, after that he was already on my mind and to my surprise I saw his name too (being used in another language obviously and context)



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