Was saving this for the book, Huge Revelation:
I have nothing to lose now, nothing to look forward to, I gasping for air & I’m not exaggerating, my hands & legs are cold and shaky… I don’t understand why “Celebrities” believe they are the only ones who look good & that they’ll get away with everything, even murders & crimes, they want girls to play by their rules, as if!! They will call the shots & dispose sporadic interest in you, approach u just to make fun of you & humiliate and insult you… Anyway before I die, I want to share something important… all the muscles in my chest are shaking, I throw up whatever I eat & I won’t be surviving that long (I’ve shared why on Facebook: Zara Sauleh) so I thought I’ll share this, it’s a shocker:
I was seeing a lot of signs & matching numbers and coincidences (like the ones mentioned in www.lilacnights.com/post/stupid-cupid ) which were revolving around HIM & ME… they were also showing me repeated letters, which was a bit unsettling, I took a few screenshots & even showed my mother, she noticed it too and found it very absurd, she said, “It means something but God knows what, these coincidences & all are too many to overlook (she wasn’t the only one to say that a lot of other ppl told me the same thing) she also added, it’s almost like they form a word” That struck me… those letters were like a digital version of an Ouija Board, some fortune telling app told me (when I asked who was showing those letters) that dead spirits or ghosts were actually communicating with me to pass on some message… that is what they do through Ouija Boards as well. When I asked, “Why me?” The Magician’s card came up and it said “Someone who is capable of doing something that is impossible for many others.” I started putting them together & a few things turned out to be true, then one day, this happened… let’s have a little recap first:
When He - the Guy whom I refer to as “501” first approached me on Tinder, he wanted my BB Pin which I refused to share cuz I wasn’t sure if his ID was real & I liked him I didn’t want to jinx it, I was bullied a lot during my teens on that app so I always thought it was “unlucky” He didn’t take the No too well and he ended the conversation with “I’ll talk to you soon okay early morning shift” On Facebook he had said, “I had come here for some work… blah blah”
Anyway I met his Friend (who was already engaged) in April 2016, I had met 501 in April 2015, he had no reason to be on Tinder & I didn’t want to hear anything more disappointing cuz I too was extremely depressed, I was hoping he wasn’t cheating on his fiancée so I swiped him right to see what he was upto. He immediately asked for my Insta ID like 501 had asked for the BB pin (I had recently changed my username and I think they were looking for my new one) After that he said, “I have some work to do, I’ll talk to you soon okay.” After that he disappeared & never got back just like him.
I didn’t think much… I guess 501 was at his house cuz his friend was 10 kms away & 501 who was always 6 kms away was 10 kms away too for a few days, it records the location from where you last log in or use the app, he must’ve logged out of his account & used his friend’s ID…
I didn’t realise that earlier but when I was putting those letters together, they formed 2 possibilities, either something like (I don’t remember much) “Meet me near Audi” or “He was using Aditya’s ID”
I was hoping it meant the Audi showroom cuz I thought maybe it’s my soulmate who was trying to establish a psychic communication with me (back then I didn’t consider 501 my soulmate) I thought it was someone like me… anyway I deleted everything as in the jumbled letters and all the lines because I thought it was stupid.
After a 2 days or so… I came across this Meme on facebook, it was posted by some funny page which I was following, it wasn’t auto generated and the feed was either preloaded or it was shared after I deleted that note… anyway I had not discussed it with anyone nor had I shared it anywhere online. I immediately retrieved that note from the deleted folder and half-heartedly finished the sentence before underlining the actual possibility.
I have many such screenshots for evidence to support my theory (in the next book) not about talking spirits or signs but mainly what is causing all this, it’s not love, it’s something else…
My heart is still quivering & paining, so is my hand due to low pressure/stress… I can’t even breathe, I have high fever due to crying, I threw up several times throughout the day but I just wanted to share this: Some “fortune telling app” said that his brother thinks all those coincidences from the Stupid Cupid post lilacnights.com/post/stupid-cupid happened because I loved him & my love was true… I just feel, he single handedly torpedoed it & ruined all the fun and inquisitiveness of my readers, I couldn’t even finish the book due to my deteriorating health and their callousness and insensitivity. I’m not here to show any “telekinetic powers” I’m not that girl who’d claim she can bend the spoon by focusing on it, the story is not that simple, he should stop watching corny romantic movies… I am not someone who’d wait at the foot of the mountain wondering when I’ll be able to scale it, I don’t care about the damn view, I’d rather explore the caves & find some hidden treasure, what’s inside matters more… You can’t Generalise me, my life would’ve been totally different had I been like other girls, I’m unique, your brother isn’t, he is like other men… end of story.
I guess time has proved it enough.
- Zara Sauleh
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