P R E F A C E “My eyes are burning ‘cuz I didn’t sleep the whole night, I’m feeling dizzy because of what I read, she too had created an ID for him, she thought she was his soulmate, she didn’t have any coincidences to prove it like me… she was in love with him since they were teenagers, she did her best but money & social status eventually had the upper hand even in today’s times. It was such a cliché, they chose a typical socialite… don’t want to be a part of this fake world, I don’t know if she is okay if she is even alive after hearing about his marriage. He knew her, it wasn’t that difficult to grab his attention but he would mark her as spam. I hate men, they are insensitive and emotionless, it’s easy for them to sleep with just anybody cuz girls aren’t creepy at all but we hardly have any options, apparently all SOPHISTICATED guys are “reserved” by rich fathers” www.lilacnights.com/post/lila-zara
Wanting to proudly & fondly call someone your Husband or Wife, willing to wake up next to them every morning or falling asleep in their arms while watching T.V. baking together, creating a mess in the kitchen, frisking around, eating together, talking for hours & yet never having enough of each other… this is probably what marriage is all about, Marriage doesn’t mean - “Having Kids” or “settling down” it simply means you make a special promise or a vow to support each other for the rest of your lives, it’s about sharing that “loving bond”… that emotional connection and you get to wear your beloved’s ring or let’s say a “sign”, it’s like a souvenir or a keepsake, your most cherished gift… anything which would keep them close to your heart whenever they are not around, it means never being alone… even if it’s not a solitaire or a ruby, whether it’s a mere plastic coir or steel band it would still mean being “his” and him being your’s… it would mean you are taken, you’ve been finally chosen, you are loved & you are precious, someone somewhere is ready to welcome you home, they are there for you as much as you are there for them. It means I can’t believe I finally got to be with you, I never thought I’ll ever marry you, I never thought you’ll lend me your name… I feel so lucky to have you. That name thing reminded me of an old coincidence… which I had somewhere in January
When things are this superficial, it’s almost as if you are watching some boring movie with a predictive plot & a cliché/trite script… at the end, either of the two things happen - It’s realistic af and people just say, “Things are never going to change, I’m glad they didn’t show anything flimsy just for the sake of a happy ending, this is exactly what happens in real life, you have to accept it as it is.” Or they’ll show something “righteous” and full of platitudes like… “Finding herself amidst all the chaos as a Queen who never really needed a King was a victory in itself, she won everything even when she lost him and blah blah because she came out stronger than ever, she LEARNT how to be alone… now she can go home peacefully and cry herself to sleep” I hate these kind of “convenient” endings which are extremely idealistic & dogmatic, extremely soliloquising but NEVER happy. I didn’t grow up with several dreams and hopes assuming all those women who had to fight were a thing of the past, they were supposed to be in History Books and that now times have changed - only to eventually “give up…” I didn’t grow up to waste my time behind some stupid, highly predictive, utterly boring “art film.” I told myself today, “Now that you have dipped your toes into this, don’t let the currents drag you… love is a two way street but even when it’s mutual (no one bothers messaging the other person on their own) and they eventually reject you for something “superficial” which is not your fault (such as looks, financial status or whatever) their unilateral decisions inadvertently impact your life as well… especially when they are all the same and moving on is not an option anymore because they all make the same mistakes, no one chooses you, you are made to feel “unwanted” like you can’t do any better than a creep… you know you always swim against the tides, right? And like they say, “Only dead fishes go with the flow”, so don’t let them dictate your life, just focus on winning, you are allowed to cheat, everything’s anyway Un-fair in love & war… You have to secure a victory for yourself and all those who are like you but at the same time, you also have to change the course of history, you not only have to survive, you have to Live and Enjoy your life. You don’t have to live by their prerogative “pagan laws”, you decide how it is and how it’s going to be, you decide the ending, you write a happy ending for happier beginnings…” You don’t have to settle on some predator, someone who doesn’t meet your caliber just because they, the ones who do have rejected you and left you all alone, they should be looking for a soulmate not a “facemate” you don’t have to compromise on some creep just because you don’t look good enough for the one you love, we are not mannequins to spend our whole lives statically… all these things such as our thought process, education, knowledge, demeanour, emotional affinities, disposition etc. are going to matter, you can’t live with a lecher for whom marriage simply means buying a concubine for life. Is your “lover” who has conveniently rejected you going to take responsibility for that? Something which is no less than a perennial rape, that too under a signed legislative?
Coincidentally I came across this quote today which totally aligned with what I said in my mind
When it comes to love, only your feelings matter, nothing else matters, not your looks, not your “Alma Mater”, not your financial status, not your religion, nationality, mother tongue, caste or creed, not your social strata, nor your social media numbers, not your clan or family tree, not your background or genealogy, not your ethnicity only your individuality… because trust me, I’ve been in that kind of love, only the latter mattered, I always wanted to marry a tall, lean Punjabi guy (ever since I was a kid) most of my best friends in school were of the same caste and I always loved their culture, music, food & effervescent spirit which is exactly why I always wanted to marry a Punjabi, never thought I’ll fall in love with a Gujju, his haircut, body type, financial status, nothing ever mattered, neither his looks to be honest nor his brains, in fact I didn’t want anyone but him… so it was just his individuality, just Harsh mattered, not his last name. Oh and if you think, girls should be pressurised to look good because at the end of the day… it is “our looks that matter” not your’s and it’s all justified to punish someone for something they didn’t choose (none of us can choose our appearance) then my friend, it’s the other way around… I am hypersensitive and on top of that I now have a chronic pain syndrome where any kind of pain is elevated, it’s far more agonising, my assets are enough to turn on any guy irrespective of my facial beauty or complexion but as a girl if I’m not aroused or lubricated enough then it’s a struggle which is no less than a rape and guys have no assets, all they have is a handsome face to rely on, no one is interested in their “tool” and their “body” won’t help much, I have come across a lot of weirdos with 6 pack abs, never felt attracted to them… www.lilacnights.com/post/lila-zara
Love,
Czar 𝒵ℒ.
P.S. Do read this before leaving 👇🏼
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