Why do people always equate “settling down” or getting married with - having kids?
This is a random post based on what I wanted to share since long and as you know I’m not well so I have been sharing in parts, it’s also directly based on my previous post which is something I remembered because of some incident I had with a married uncle, it was very scary and intimidating, I was only 20… he was 40-something and it was one of my worst experiences ever, it was scary, such scenarios didn’t end there, I had one more after 2 years, I recalled everything today (it’s an underlying fear) and thought I’ll reiterate myself as to why I don’t think “compromising” on such weirdos is worth my time, effort, energy or body which will immediately repel them in pain… I rather be with someone of my choice and caliber, I will not budge, the world can bend to my will. I also decided to share this which like I said went with my previous post.
At 18, I had started thinking not just for myself but for guys too that they might have already started feeling pressurised, I mean… they know they’ll soon have to earn enough to support their kids and take (maximum) responsibility on their shoulders since they are obviously stronger, I’m not some egoistic 15 year old to lie and sound impractical right now and say I am physically as strong as men and less susceptible to things like Lupus & Fibromyalgia which I already have (which is also transmissible to the baby), I’m equally strong to not want a “Maternity Leave” or to return back to work within 24 hours of giving birth, to refuse an epidural, to say I don’t need a hero, I’m my own hero, I don’t need a man, I can easily sleep with him and there’s no need for any commitment… I’m an easy catch, and likewise I think yes, indeed, a man being fit and strong is the backbone of the house, a female on the other hand is the brain and together, they form a heartbeat. I know a lot of fathers who back out because they can’t deal with all the pressure and they run away, if not forever they nonetheless get extremely evasive, some of them even lie on railway tracks so I knew that if any guy would ever come up to me and get rather *honest* and say, “I don’t think I want to have children” I would simply reply, “Okay cool” 🤷🏻♀️
This like a mini part 3…
There was a guy once on some anonymous app where he had posted: “Looking at the current conditions & where our world is heading, I wouldn’t want to have kids” he had written that long ago and since we were anonymous, he wasn’t aware of any of my articles or writings, a lot of people including me, agreed… we all seek different things in life, when I was small, my mom and aunt fetched one of there childhood board games and whenever we used to play that I would follow the same suit, so there were around 4 categories listed there and we had to prioritise each with stars (and then collect those stars or tokens) and this is what I would do, I’ve shared them in that order - Family ***** Love **** Money ***
Fame ** I had nothing to do with fame lol I always thought it was useless and frivolous, money was important if you wanted your family to be happy and healthy, family always topped my list, just in case you would go wrong with love… as a grown up, nothings changed it’s just that I’ve realised people can be really toxic, including your own near and dear ones, so it’s important to prefer Quality over Quantity and you can find your family and home even in one person… As of now after losing so many years of my youth & hope (which were taken away from me) I think I want to focus more on Love, Happiness, Peace, Well being, Health, Travel & what I’ve always loved the most - Fashion and I have seen bad examples right in front of me, not all kids are born with your genes so that’s not happening. It is also impossible to afford them in today’s world, you neither have much money nor time to spare, having kids means two cars (one for work, the other for school pick up & drop, I’ll be sharing why it’s essential in India and why school buses are a big no-no I’ve added a few more points in the latter half, I know what used to happen with me in the school bus and how unsafe they are, I’m glad I was never raped) + medical expenses, savings & bonds, several rooms, more electronics and gadgets such as AC, TV, tablets etc. a bigger electricity bill and homeschooling thanks to pandemics *let me live*
Xoxo
𝒞𝒵. Zara Sauleh
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