Didn't want to start out like this but my head is paining a lot and I have extremely high fever again after hitting myself so much and slapping myself till my cheeks turned red, I was hitting my eyes and face, head everywhere yesterday when I already had fever, I was compelled to do that out of self-hate. I am still planning to die BUT I HAD TO TELL MY MOTHER A FEW THINGS and pen down something here as well. Please go through the SIGNS regarding me and Harsh Jayesh Rajput who was my match made in heaven and soulmate, I have shared the screenshots or markings on FB - Zara Sauleh and Twitter - @DutchessTruffle and Instagram: @_chalet_ You can refer to all that then read this.
As if everything that happened, all the unfairness was not enough... another girl was recently called "ugly" for wanting someone of her choice, I don't know who she is but my mother told me about her.
I NEVER WANTED SOMEONE RICH, FAIR, TALL OR HANDSOME.
Now you will say, "You yourself don't want to get raped that's why you are writing this." Ek hi toh gandi naali mein fasse haï mai aur woh. Why? You get Love making, and we get a mandatory "procedure" (to consummate) which hurts us like rape called Sex with some forced entry by a creep under the name of marriage? And then it continues as our duty... what rubbish?! And if not that then we should die virgins? Or never get married cuz YOU STOLE MY SOULMATE you shameless woman. Go see the signs and screenshots of you have enough guts you are in fact fcking someone else's guy UNRIGHTFULLY. My marriage signs came with him FIRST since in 2016 I have shared so many of them. OR ELSE YOU WILL COMPEL ME TO KILL ALL THREE OF US. This is too unfair and now I'm not going to take it. How dare she even argue she's reading all this and fcking him even more shamelessly. Taking full advantage you forcer, female pervert. Turning a blind eye or gaslighting will only burn you the signs won't change nor will the facts.
Please read what I'm sharing here then go through the images and the video which I've shared privately on Tumblr, you'll find the links below this:
I haven't eaten anything the whole day in fact I'm hungry since yesterday night and my pressure is TOO LOW so first READ this then I'll die. I don't want to eat. He never removed that ring due to which even Aditya Singh Rajput died, I was NOT ready to stalk him so the Devil who plays with people's fears made sure Aditya would die and I would see Harsh at the funeral and the first thing I saw was the RING and the Devil was the only one who knew my fear of a wedding ring on his hand (princess Diana was afraid of car accidents and she would repeatedly say that so he made sure her car would meet with an accident and it rammed into the UNLUCKY 13th pillar which signifies his number and she was not even wearing a seatbelt that day which she would always wear because she was instigated by him) Harsh Jayesh Rajput and Preet Rajput and Srman Jain are INVOLVED in my murder, they received my TEXTS AGAIN YESTEDAY but He is not BREAKING HIS OCD and I should've killed myself in 2015 when it first started but it was sporadic back then, it would've been better to die cuz he has become too insensitive now and I will not bear it hence I'm killing myself after this post. He has OCD and he is mentally ill and all those who are blindly imitating him will meet the same fate in the mental hospital, PROOF: NO MATTER WHAT he is so insensitive and EXTREME that he doesn't break that silence even when someone's dying or getting tortured, NEXT he would always mandatorily call Woman even in singular form "Women" with an E that too continuously everywhere and when he spoke to my other ID he was not using a few words - such as this, he said "You a hot girl" and skipped "are" then he said, "Cool I like" and skipped "that." People do this in OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER or OCD. He wasn't drunk back then he was saying the rest of the things properly. The screenshots must be there in my previous laptop 💻 it is rightly said, "Ek paagal puri duniya ko pagal kar sakta hai such as his parents his brother that Srman and all other boys too who want to copy him."
Please read the following it has my old PHOTO, it was clicked before he ruined me then continue reading further it's all very important:
First of all I wanted only 1% of looks unlike others who claim they want 50% looks and 50% brains SECONDLY that 1% DIDNOT include height, body or a fair complexion, he himself ruined his lips by smoking pot and turned them black I have never smoked or done drugs/had alcohol in my whole life I'm a teetotaller it's not something "religious" I just love my autonomy and lack of dependency on these things, his lips were his mistake and YET I ACCEPTED those lips for my First Kiss which I never got and I'm dying a virgin.
I NEVER WANTED SOMEONE RICH, FAIR, TALL OR HANDSOME.
Please read further after watching these pics and video on:
Tumblr: TheSecretAttic or here
There are women who encourage such men and they aren’t necessarily good, a lot of females who are okay with them as in guys who are not on the same educational level, who don’t work or do meagre jobs because most of their attention is in girls or who in general are not on the same caliber (there was a man who had a degree but who couldn’t speak a single word in English ‘cuz he was the most salacious lecher I have ever known he was harassing me for years by taking advantage of Harsh and my situation) those women who are so "accommodating" with them are driven by Sx and gratification, some of them are married also but they are still gravitated towards every other man and it’s comfortable for them to sleep with such guys without being attracted or attached to them cuz they are always h-orny (on heat/aroused) due to their raging hormones which are like raffish teenagers and their own husbands are sick of them cuz they can’t stop themselves they are okay with ANY AND EVERY other man out there. And it gets worse when they want you to do the same thing, I was asked to be with a Delivery boy also and when you say no they say, "Why? Cuz he is ugly?" and try to frame you. And they hate you ‘cuz you have enough control, that control is a natural instinct no offence. This is exactly why you should have some “standards" if you don't have those instincts either.
Btw that delivery boy is married and he has a kid too, on the contrary girls don’t get married very easily. There was a girl in close relation who’s dad had to confiscate her phone cuz she was dating some “Owner at owner” it was a famous meme for roadside romeos or Tapri chapps who would call themselves Owner at Owner in the professional sphere that too in Alternative upper and lower cases, you know those “KiNGs 👑” those creeps, we were like she can’t do better than this? He was just using her... There are many to encourage them (her dad took her phone) why should I accept them when there are so many who have a waiting list full of such girls? That girl was very fair by the way and pretty too.
I recently heard some horrible people calling another girl ugly cuz she wanted someone of her choice (and not just any tapri chapp or perv) so in India they only see our worth on the basis of our looks? After all that PMS & Ovulation which takes 20 days of the month and gives us break outs, frizzy coarse hair and bloating they judge like that? *Clears Throat* I’ll have to explain this a bit more explicitly OLD PEOPLE please cover down ur ears:
For men, imagine an ugly pervy gay man is after you and leave alone touching you WITH his mouth here and there woh tereko peeche se thok raha hai he’s trying to F you from behind obtrusively, your hole won’t open right? Or it’ll welcome him? It’s going to be shut and it will be a forced entry. You should keep ur mouths also SHUT like that instead of calling a girl ugly. That’s why there’s a saying for such ppl, “Some ppl say so much sh-it I wonder if it’s a mouth or that.” It’s the same when an ugly man tries to get obtrusive with us that’s why even lubricators DON’T work in girls (leave alone natural lubrication which comes when we ARE ATTRACTED and aroused) because our body is shut for such men, the bud doesn’t open and it’s a forced entry or rape. I will NOT entertain this.
Why should I be a subservient and why put myself through all that with so much passivity when I don’t even like the other person?
Why go through this Sx as a mandatory “procedure” cheee Eww when we want love making like other fortunate girls?
There are many women who have raging hormones and they are always hrny or aroused/like I said they are always on heat so they will accept them, they are into any random male, they get aroused at the mere sight of anyone from the opposite gender which explains how others marry them but WE ARE hypersensitive (my autocorrect changed it to sensible) anyway that’s why Rape is a crime and our CHOICE MATTERS. It’s our body and we decide who touches it.
And men can get aroused cuz girls have assets to turn them on in fact it doesn’t pain them at all, secondly girls are intrinsically born sweet so no matter what they look like they are never as ugly or scary as MEN.
Such guys ruin all our dreams every girl wants a dream man and then we are FORCED to endure this pain that too for someone whom we don’t even like under the name of being “good” or politically correct.
We live in constant fear because of them. And honestly these men still get married very easily because of that other "type of girls" so you should be feeling Sorry for us not them, even after that many such married uncles try to misbehave with younger girls online thanks to HOW MUCH SOCIETY OVERPAMPERS them.
Please don’t force other girls and RUIN their lives. For us Death is easier compared to that and Rape is worse than murder.
I had asked for only 1% of looks others want 50% looks 50% brains but I realised in India there’s nothing like Average, here every ugly and scary creep is TAUGHT to call himself average that too to chase a girl who’s way out of his league in order to flaunt in front of the whole village (this wasn't aimed at him but like they say, "Hey if the shoe fits feel free to wear it.") I also realised that these men are so scary or creepy that asking for even that 1% which DIDNOT include Height, A fair complexion or Body will still make the entire sky fall down cuz men here are in minus… and it’s not that we don’t have tall, fair and handsome guys but we have to be “politically correct” 'cuz those guys are always booked and girls aren’t like these ugly men, they have enough self respect to never chase someone like that or even expect such guys to like them, in fact more than self respect they have inhibitions and convictions so we choose according to that but even when we ask for just 1% all these ugly men dance over our heads and force us to settle on them cuz we stand out more than others and it becomes like the saying, “Shoot for the moon, you’ll reach amongst the stars.” They take advantage of our insecurities and honesty. All those opportunitic girls who are their female versions will now use their FLIPPANT tongues and tell Harsh, "Look look she called you that cuz you also dance." Hahaha behenjis. They are soooo shallow they keep complaining and filling his ears how immature.
Please read this then go through Part 2
Part 2
He is my soulmate indeed (you've seen the signs if not at least read my posts from 23rd May on FB) but this thing has too much power and whichever part of the soul or the other half has the “upper hand”, it not only leads ahead but also decides the fate of the story which means it can be either positive and good or extremely negative. Unfortunately his Hate is so big that everything negative was amplified even more because a soulmate connection is always very strong.
The reason why hate is anyway more powerful than love is because of this… and please don’t tell me “Your love should’ve been stronger, it should've taken over his hate, this isn’t a movie and why should only GIRLS love like that?”
Hate is like a wall, rigid and ruthless, none of their hate his or his brother’s even after receiving so many messages ended, it’s like a STONE (hearted) wall which doesn’t melt, it’s so firm even when they do something wrong they do it with an unflinching nerve, it just doesn’t budge, the ego is that bad… it’s so erect it doesn’t get moved by tears or sadness - that is the “power” of hate. People give up after breaking their head on THAT WALL… for how long will they survive anyway, they eventually give up. Dono bewakoof bhai they didn’t get any other girl to pull her down and show themselves superior?
What did I want all this time? Only one thing, guess…
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Hope, you thought I was talking about Harsh?
H for Harsh, H for my H-OPE and H for his H-ATE
He came on that dating app not to date but hate. Hate someone way younger than him, a 20 year old girl.
Part 3
They keep saying we really don’t know what women want… because you never ask, you never even ask us what we want!
What do women want? Pseudo feminists will say everything you want to hear but if you really have enough guts you’ll ask us. And it'd be still better if you’ll ask what we want because otherwise you’ll get to hear all that we DONOT want and that will bleed your ears.
1. In a country like India first and foremost we NEED and want safety which means a safe means of transport, if I’ll say a car you’ll call me a “Gold Digger” but men who ask for bigger cars in dowry aren’t advised to leave the house in a burkha if they are that scared of other men and females too like Harsh Rajput who blocked a kid, a 20 year old I never even told him anything I’m a virgin because I never even wanted to hook up I wanted love you don’t understand? Baila aadmi. Burkha pehen ke ghoom na nanga kyu ghoomta haï. And that too I never wanted that I can't stand manwhores.
2. We want someone who can give us EMOTIONAL, financial and physical security why? Because we aren’t independent. So we need a man to meet our basic needs and to keep us happy too. We aren’t some judo karate champion to fight pervy bosses and other predators outside, and even those who do know martial arts refrain from using them because what if we’ll get acid thrown into our faces? Girls learn that BEFORE learning karate in my country… we are taught the concept of Revenge.
Yet yet if at all we are talking about a "safer work environment" which is hard to create or maintain (and the streets or commutes are much more difficult to monitor) despite that let’s say wherever we are working or whatever we are doing we WANT a maternity leave… why? Because we are weak and we can’t move after giving birth. Actually why fcking not? Are we made up of iron or what?
Is it easy to go through childbirth and that entire THROES which makes it difficult for girls to even leave the bed, but we shouldn’t be asking for it 'cuz a “woman” is made for all this... we have a Pregnant Man emoji you better start giving birth yourself, you won't need a maternity leave anyway.
3. As women what else do we want? We do not want children, even if we have natural maternal instincts or we love children some of us donot want to be a mother - your’s or ur child’s, a lot of men don’t want to take their responsibility either it’s just a fetish for them another incentive to get married and another step in their Sx life - a "Mom Bod" when they are bored that's what they look forward to and then they are bored of that fantasy also. So for them it’s very easy to “demand” that. Eww. By the way my love was real and I'm glad at least I know that in true love you never get bored.
4. Women are weaker but it doesn’t mean we are secondary or peripheral, SEENA TAAN KE KYA KHADA HAÏ, KYU? Boobs nahi hai? That’s why men ko seena taanna padta hai?
The truth is - men were the rough sketch, women were the fine art. They came second for a reason cuz even God needed enough practice to create them.
Those women are sitting there to flatter Harsh cuz they are so desperate for him lol and that Narcissist aur chadenga SHAMELESS fcks instead of supporting another girl they are busy getting opportunistic.
5. All in all, we want what we want and not necessarily what you want or what your mothers want or what mistake our mothers want us to repeat out of gloating or envy and rivalry, “just because I went through that she should too…” because family values are only for movies and books. People lie, this is how it actually is. We want what we want not what you expect and we want to win we have to win cuz if we don’t the world will not see any daughters or females anymore, it’ll become that UNSAFE.
- Zara Sauleh
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