I’ve got a fever due to crying, yesterday I had another episode of cluster headaches cuz I had cried a lot, my eyesight has become poor after years and years of lamentation… My breathing is irregular, my blood pressure is low, I knew this would happen today on 5th Jan but I can neither stop time nor change anything, if someone is cruel, insensitive and stone hearted, they will keep being an impasse or impediment in your life no matter what. As a kid, I always hated the Little Mermaid storybook which I had… so much that I threw it in the dustbin, my mother saw it & she asked, “How did it come here?” she kept it back in the bookshelf and I again flung it, my aim was perfect, it went right where it belonged, in the bin… the next day when she saw it, she again asked, “Arey yeh book pura time yaha kaise aa jaati hai?” (I was just 5 or so and I was afraid to tell her why I hated it that much cuz it was an “Adult thing”) The story was very unfair, unlike most other fairy tales, the Mermaid isn’t playing some “Damsel in Distress” she is the one who rescues her prince but he never acknowledges that, she hides behind a rock when he is about to wake up cuz she knows she is not a human (FYI he himself stinks more than a stale fish) and his fiancé lies about saving him, the mermaid then wishes for legs so that she could meet him again but she only ends up dancing at his wedding… as a kid, I was never afraid of anything or anybody I would go to the bathroom alone at night even as a toddler at the age of 2-3, my hand wouldn’t reach the switch board but I never wanted help or assistance ‘cuz according to me I was a “little - Big girl” but I grew up the day I read that story… about heartbreak and unfairness, I never wanted to end up like her though… never.
None of us deserve that, you might think her feelings were short lived due to that “brief encounter” but thats not how attachment and bonds are formed, whether you save their life or you are ready to give your life for them, you keep forgiving them or if their actions kill you, whatever it is, when it becomes a matter of life and death no matter how corny or cliche this sounds it just means your heart needs them…
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