These are the last few days of my life…
and I am not in the state to write much, when I woke up today morning I coincidentally came across the same song which was playing throughout the night, in my dreams… for as long as I slept, it was just a mere coincidence this time, I read some “quote” last night & I guess it triggered that song subconsciously (due to the lyrics) but coincidentally I came across that same song in the morning after waking up. It was Kay Sera Sera - both, as a kid as well as an adult, I was always in Prabhu Deva’s team. I was never a “Hopeless Romantic”… I never wanted to be in “love”, I wasn’t that stupid, I never even wanted to be a writer (although everyone around me would say I’d become one, I mean English literature was not only my fav subject but also my forte & I had long fingers even as a kid) but that’s how Life is you know… it always knocks on the wrong door to create some or the other drama or a “memorable” story. I never liked ‘Flowers’… which is exactly why I never switched my name from Zara (which means Light) to Zaara (a pretty flower) I like leaves because everyone else likes flowers & no one pays attention to the leaves, not until they are dead… people only appreciate them when they die, which is during Autumn. I think as poets we meet the same fate, all other flowers become stars whereas we shed like wilted Autumn Leaves.
How would you describe love? “Love” & Luck are two sides of the same coin… it’s like one of those arcade games where you would try to grab that dollar store plushie with a metal claw, it’s not even like anyone was interested in that toy, none of the kids would loiter there, it was only enticing for teens & adults because it was so damn elusive… it was all about grasping the “unachievable”; and for some reason we believed holding on to that thing, with enough tact in a tight yet delicate grip would eventually secure a victory for us… and you would be this close to getting whichever plush was within your reach when that metal claw would - either let go of it or withdraw its grasp, empty handed. How many times are you gonna try? Your youth doesn’t last forever, it slips away in the blink of an eye…
I’ve finally realised that I’m out of luck & tokens, now all I can do is slam the Glass encasing of that stupid booth and whisper “Damn it!” There is a couple waiting in the queue behind me who want to try their luck. I go back to the lonely bench & sit there… wistfully staring at my empty pockets, I don’t have a single dime left to buy myself another chance or “just one more time, please”, I keep wondering where I went wrong and the very same moment, I see that couple again… the girl is clenching her boyfriend’s arm and carrying the biggest teddy bear she could find, from the reward section.
Xoxo
Zara Sauleh
